Season Premiere - Sister Wives Episode 1: The Situation With Meri

Yippee! The new season has begun and we start out the episode with Robyn arriving at Meri's house to tell her the good news. But first, a recitative from Robyn.

A baby is a physical manifestation that there is an intimate relationship between a husband and wife...

Well, Robyn kind of garbled it, but that's about what she said. Nice, real nice. Did you really mean to say wife or was it wives. Work on it for next time, OK? Oh how sweet, you make Meri go into her messy spare bedroom AND sit on the damn floor so you can tell her you're pregnant. Nice work, Robyn. As we will see later, Robyn is all about making people feel comfortable and valued. Especially if the people are teenagers with underdeveloped frontal lobes. But I'm getting ahead of myself.


...We Are Permanently Bonded Now- Robyn

Geez, I cannot stand Robyn. She has to be in control, even when at Meri's house.

"Do you want me to leave so you can kiss - Hi? says Robyn to Meri and Kody. Hell no, Meri can kiss Kody when she damn well pleases, especially since she was in her own kitchen. And she does!

Meri: She's not looking! (quickly kisses Kody while Robyn's back is turned)
Kody: (mumbles something)

Finally, it's time to make the announcement!

Kody: We are all gathered here for a special occasion...In 7 1/2 months Truely will not be the littlest one. (Kody points an accusatory finger at poor hairless Truley)

Say whut? What's going to happen to Truely? Hey, it's not her fault she's bald - I mean, look at your own head Kody. She's got half your genes - and 100% of your bald ones. SHE'S JUST A BABY, damn it! Have some compassion!

Kody: (sensing three quarters of the family doesn't know what the hell he's talking about, leans forward and yells at Gwendlyn) Robyn's going to have a baby!

Oh, OK, well then. So everyone is happy, right?

Ummm....not quite.

Aspyn, Madison (who looks spectacular, by the way), Mariah and Janelle look shocked. Hunter just looks like he's bored. Mariah eventually leaves the table and runs upstairs to her bathroom. Meri follows, along with Kody. Now it would have been nice if Kody would have reached over and just shut the bathroom door. I mean, that's what Bethenny Frankel did when she had a crying breakdown on her Bravo show. But this isn't Bravo, and Kody definitely doesn't have Bethenny's class. Which shows how awful this is if I can use the words Bethenny and class in the same sentence. And then Kody sends Robyn upstairs - to "comfort" Mariah. Hells bells, just leave the kid alone and OFF CAMERA, ya freaks!

For the record, via voiceover, Meri explained that Mariah wasn't upset that Robyn was preggers; Mariah was upset for her mother's inability to conceive. I'm going to call this the "Helga, I'm not mad at you, I'm mad at the dirt" excuse from my favorite film, Mommie Dearest. I have another favorite saying from this movie but it has to do with a sex act and a rodeo and may not be appropriate for all audiences.

My World Is Upside Down- Janelle

As Janelle explained it, she was in "in a bad place" the day of the announcement. Not because of Robyn, but because she was struggling with this new life in Vegas. Apparently, she was the only one who realized how little they have - what she described as the family's "finite resources". She no longer had a job and a career and felt she was without a big part of her identity. As she puts it, "I'm struggling. It's very hard on me and it's hard on our family." She looked very pale, worn out and unhappy.

The episode immediately segued to Hunter and his issues. As I feel very strongly about this, and have already commented on a previous posting, I won't repeat it here. However, I do feel Kody or Janelle should have stepped in and STOPPED THE DAMN CAMERAS. It was uncomfortable for me to watch, and I'm sure, it wasn't very comfortable for Hunter, either. Hunter, if you read this, I'm with ya, Hang in there!


Dad, I Have A Moral Issue...-Mykelti

Oh my gosh, another rebellious teenager. Only this time, it plays out OFF CAMERA! You see, Mykelti feels it's wrong to have cameras filming her father's "church" service, and therefore, regrets she will not be in attendance that morning. Kody talks to her on speakerphone and she refuses to budge. Now, Kody doesn't agree, but says she did a good job selling her position to him. Mykelti can stay home. Bravo Mykelti!

Now about that service. I think Mykelti was right. Two of Kody's youngest daughters looked like they were having a fight pulling each other's hair - and they were in the front row! Robyn alternated between looking enraptured by Kody's presence to looking like she needed to puke. Christine and Meri looked like they were statues. Janelle sat next to Madison, who looked like she would rather be somewhere else. Yep, Kody should have listened to Mykelti on this one.

This Is Not Our Church...-Christine

Oh boy, now this was a major, excuse my language, WTF segment for me. You see, The Sister Wives and Kody travelled to a Presbyterian Church to discuss, possibly, having their children join their youth group for socialization purposes. As Janelle explained to Pastor Ray, they just wanted a place where the children could fellowship with children their own age and moral standards.

Unfortunately, Christine had a major fit during the meeting, totally embarrassing Janelle. Christine said she "doesn't feel right about this" and that "this isn't our church" and tells a story that basically calls Pastor Ray (and any church that isn't AUB or whatever they are at the moment) SHARKS and she doesn't want her children to swim with them. She kind of calmed down a bit, and further explained she wanted her children to find their friends on their own, and not through their parents hooking them up with a youth group from a different church. Janelle, sensing Pastor Ray's discomfort, asked her sisterwives and Kody if they could table this discussion for later. To the visible relief of Pastor Ray, Kody and his wives left to work out this situation in the privacy of their home/homes.


Your Pool Is Too Big...-Kody

What's that saying? Oh yes, 'The road to hell is paved with good intentions'. Christine is having problems with Gwendlyn. Seems the poor child misses her huge backyard in Lehi. Suffice it to say Christine can't (among other things) use a tape measure and ordered this huge wading pool whose diameter is a foot longer than the backyard. She tells a flustered Kody "Make it work!" and walks away. And there is something disconcerting about seeing Christine holding a power tool.

OMG, they aren't done with the Presbyterian youth group yet! Kody puts his foot down, and tells Janelle that nope, they will not be sending their children to the Presbyterians for socialization. Janelle throws in the towel, saying she has been out-voted. The discussion is closed. Christine has a particularly smug look on her face. Robyn just looks like she's going to puke, again. Kody, probably realizing Janelle holds the family pursestrings, eventually agrees to Janelle's suggestion to let the older teenagers decide. Good call, Kody.


Choose Your Church When You Are An Adult...-Robyn

Yes! Robyn finally shows her true colors to the teenagers, not that they didn't already see through her earlier. This shall be known forever as the "Frontal Lobes" incident.

You see, the teenagers and parental units sat together and tried to hash out their need to socialize. When Kody asked them "Are you guys making friends at school" they all said yes. Well, maybe Hunter didn't. Robyn, looking like she just blew chunks behind Meri's couch then asked "Do they have the same values as you?" which Kody quickly rephrased to "Do they have the same values your parents want you to have?". Now to me, where the hell does Robyn get off opening her fool mouth when SHE DOESN'T EVEN HAVE TEENAGERS, YET. And the teens in the family don't belong to her! The situation went swiftly downhill.

Mykelti said she was fine with going to another church. Meri says "We have always taught our kids to be open..." and then Robyn tried to interrupt and Meri spoke over her saying "I get your point" and then all hell broke loose. Yes, Robyn not only put her foot in her mouth, she single handedly alienated every teenager in the room with the statement "At a certain age when they actually have their frontal lobes completely grown". Like, what the hell is that supposed to mean? The teens looked puzzled, and Meri said, "That's true, that's true" I suppose it's polyg talk for when you're all grown up, but the teens weren't buying it. And Madison, sweet dear Madison, showed she's no pushover when she asked, looking in the direction of where Janelle was seated, "But you always told us we could choose our church and we could be what we want". Thrap upside Robyn's pointy chin. Robyn then tried to tell her "Choose your church when you are an adult and your brain..." and Madison interrupted and said "Well I hate the church we have right now...I don't hate it, I just don't like it. I would prefer not to live it". Double thrap and Ouch! When Kody said to Madison "You look like you checked out. Is that because you don't like this subject?" , Janelle defends her daughter by saying "She's giving her opinion". Madison needs no help, she tells Kody how it is. "I want to go hangout with youth kids from another church". Period. Sorry Robyn, Christine and Kody, you lost this round.

I really don't understand what the big deal is. When I was in college, every Friday night my dorm friends and I attended the Campus Crusade for Christ meeting off campus. It was fun, we met a lot of interesting if not zealous people, and they had good snacks. The meeting place was also less than 5 minutes walking time to our favorite bar. But lets get back on topic, shall we?

Once alone without the teenagers present, Robyn attempted to explain where she is coming from, after all she feels "...we are killing ourselves basically to live this life, to live this faith, we believe it!"

Now to me, I just don't understand how a woman, who's first marriage was monogamous (even though its been said it was going to be polygamous, eventually) could have the audacity to prop herself up as queen bee in a family that was working just fine until she showed up. I do hope she explains eventually how they are killing themselves for their faith, being they chose to go public with their lifestyle and to run like thieves in the night to Las Vegas. Oh yeah, Kody decreed there will be no Presbyterian youth group for the Brown kids! BOO!! YAY!!

The rest of the episode rather pales to the "Frontal Lobes" incident. Pool party for the younger kids. Gwendlyn gets her yard, Vegas subdivision style. Pool party for the teenagers. Logan hangs out with the girls. Hunter hangs out with Truely. Whatever. I can't wait to see what new adventures are in store for us, next week!

'Til then, your thoughts?

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