This episode is all about Robyn. Poor Robyn is so freakin' preggers, it hurts just to watch her waddle along. So let's allow the bitch witch broodmare her time in the sun. After all, she IS giving birth to Kody's child. Child number 17, to be exact. On the subject of sun, I wonder if Fundamental Fitness will have spray on tans?
In case you are not aware, the review this week will be in two parts. Double your pleasure, double your fun. So gird up those loins and get ready for the All About Robyn Season Finale...Part ONE.
As the camera zooms in on Robyn's house, an extremely pregnant Robyn STILL hasn't popped that kid out. In fact, as she opens a box in her living room containing a playpen - no doubt a baby gift from one of her many fans - she gives us a rundown of her still in progress pregnancy. I've having contractions she says. I'm still having morning sickness, I'M STILL PREGNANT! Blah blah blah, the woman just can't stop.
So how are Robyn's sister wives helping her out? Oh yeah, they are giving her a lot of love and
support. Well, she does say that she "...can't complain in front of Meri... If I complain in front of Meri she says 'YOU should just be GRATEFUL you're PREGNANT!' " Someone, please hand Robyn an
award for her sensitivity towards Meri's fertility problem. Thank you.
Next scene we are at Janelle's house. Janelle said Hunter was still "sullen and withdrawn", but
he's getting better. She also explained that Madison lives "...vicariously in Utah..." and just attends school in Vegas.
While Janelle speaks, we see her reach down and grab one of those god-awful fritos covered in peanut butter heart attack snacks and eat it. Oh Janelle! You're not going to lose weight eating that crapola! Salads, hon, WITH NO SALAD DRESSING!
Now we are at Christine's house. She's fixing grilled chicken and vegetables for her family. Oh,
looks like Ysabel is back with her mother! She's talking about her kids, too. Seems Aspyn and Mykelti just love Vegas now. But Paedon, he's not adjusting so well.
You see, Paedon was the one bullying Robyn's Dayton. But after Christine had a "good
conversation" with him, Paedon has turned over a new leaf. In fact, he now walks over to Robyn's
house and picks up Dayton on the way to the school bus stop each morning.
Makes you wonder where Kody was during all of this. Wait, here he is...at Robyn's house!
Kody arrives in his $60K sports car to take Robyn to her midwife for an examination. As Kody drags a Braxton-Hicks contracting Robyn down the sidewalk outside the midwife's office, he stops long enough to ask her "...you want me to massage it out of you?" SAY WHUT?!?
Oh, I get it now. Kody was talking about massaging out the contraction, not the BABY! WHEW!!
Robyn says "I feel that Solomon knows that he's got a big family who loves him..." I think Solomon
also knows there's a load of bat shit crazy outside and that's why he's refusing to leave the safety of the womb!
about her? Well I was worried! First she tweets about the Browns joining her real estate team, next
thing we know, the Browns bail out on her and start talking about owning a fitness center. But ever
the professional, Mona takes the Browns (and business partner Trainer Bill) around to check out
some locations.
Oh dear, did Kody just say his business name was Fitness Fundamentalist? Ya know, the boob
doesn't even know the name of his own business and wants to choose a location because it looks "ritzy".
I am so glad I'm not an investor. This is not looking good.
(Cynical Jinx if you're nasty) but I'm getting vibes that while Janelle talks about re-establishing that
one on one relationship with each sister wife with these weekly lunches, we are going to find out
things aren't so rosy in Sister wife Land. So, I'm gonna say NO to the kumbaya kool-aid that this
lunching with the girls segment wants me to drink. Nope, ain't gonna fall for it.
 |
| If you want a successful family, you DON'T have favorites |
And in the next segment, I see I was right. So Christine. In the first season you had a conniption fit when you found out that Kody 1) Kissed Robyn before marriage and 2) Helped Robyn choose her
wedding dress. This season we found out that 1) You weren't feeling special anymore and 2)You
were on anti anxiety and anti depressant medication.
Now we find out that you not only blamed Robyn for taking Kody away from you, you blame her for
being Kody's favorite wife. Funny, but I've got to say, Christine, why are you blaming only Robyn?
Shouldn't that goofy haired Kody shoulder some of this blame, too?
But even though Christine has "apologized" and wormed her way back into Kody's good graces (reaffirming her spot in Celestial Heaven beside him) by saying the fundamentalist woman's mantra "I promise to be better", she has more to say. "If you want a successful family, you DON'T have favorites". Hey Kody, did you hear that? That was direct from Christine to you! In fact, I think it was direct from granddad Rulon through Christine to you. WORD!
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| Robyn was NOT amused..... |
In the couch interview, Janelle let it be known - she ain't getting up in the middle of the night just to see a baby. Robyn threw Janelle a look that, well, if looks could kill, Janelle would be pushing up sister wife daisies.
Meri's revelations, however, were the most shocking. Now, we find out exactly how Meri feels about
her sister wives Janelle and Christine, and it ain't too friendly, if ya know what I mean.
As Meri describes how wonderful her life has been since Robyn came on board, she lets us in on a
little secret. You see, Meri has always wanted to have a close relationship with her sister wives, but
alas, it never happened. It wasn't until Robyn joined the family, that Meri finally got the sister wife
she always wanted. Meri put it this way "Robyn and I have become very close...we have a very good relationship...we are very very good friends...She came into the family... wanting to have a deep close relationship with her sister wives. I have always wanted that, and never had it. I have it with Robyn. And I'm very happy about that."
Kind of explains why Meri said earlier she had to send her SISTER out to buy diapers when Mariah
was born instead of asking her sister wives.
What we need right now is a picture of Truely. It's so cute how she's reading that book - upside down! Just like her daddy would!
But isn't she a bit old for a pacifier?
So now we see the Browns checking out a cul de sac where they want to build four separate homes.
Mona, even though the Browns didn't come on board as employees, you can make a mint OFF of them by selling real estate TO them. Now that's a savvy business person!
This is a good place to end Part One. Stay tuned for Part Two - Robyn Gives Birth!
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